Changes and Boats

I could use this blog right now to vent my little head off. I could talk about the tests I have coming up, the big projects in the future, the homework, and even the fact that I feel very overloaded. Yet, I won't talk about that...Despite the little sentence I just said describing what I could talk about. In that case, I did use it for venting. However, that is not what this whole blog will be centered around!

This will sound kind of weird, but I felt taller today. I'm not trying to make a short joke here or exclaim that I am physically growing, but I felt psychologically taller. It seems like since college my focus is starting to shift. Even take for example the College Ministry at church opposed to when I was in the High School Ministry. I feel God leading in both of those, however I had a great conversation with a couple guys last night that opened my eyes. When you are a youth being part of a youth ministry, often you do not look at yourself as supporting this ministry or even seeing the leaders as someone who needs support. A lot of times Youth Ministry is to help you the student to grow spiritually and grow as a community. It is like that in the College Ministry too, but there is also this responsibility that because God blessed this group, you must do what you can to help this ministry grow. I wish I could say with all honesty that my main focus was to see the Youth Ministry grow and see High School Students come to Christ but during that time on my life, I was focused on myself and the friends surrounding me. Don't get me wrong. The Youth Ministry has helped me grow spiritually, and I would not be where I am today without the leaders and mentors letting God speak through them to me. For those reading this that are family and friends, don't think that I am leaving you out. I am just trying to relate this to two specific genres of ministry...God has used every person and family member in some way or another to influence my faith. I have just found lately that this whole, "It's not about me" attitude takes a lot of work. This coming from the guy who named two cars, his glasses, his screen name, two email addresses, and his blog after himself! Gotta love it! :-)

I know this blog is getting long, but you are probably wondering about the boat reference. I bought a picture that hangs above my computer of a boat sitting on top of a swampy-land facing toward the lake. This lake is reflecting the glow of the sunrise. When I look at this boat, I imagine myself getting ready to get inside of it. I see myself begin to row. As I row, I go over the calm, smooth waters to a chartered destination that does not appear within the picture. There is no one around. Just me and the calm waters reflective of the pink and yellow sky. I start rowing hearing the sounds of silence. I don't know what lies ahead, I don't hear any distractions around me, just the invitation of the open waters. I am rowing to a destination. I don't know what will happen along my path or the strange lure of what is beyond what I can see. Yet I know that I must keep rowing for what lies ahead is something greater. Something that I would not find letting my boat rest on the swamp.